Your “Why” for Sports


Photo by Guillermo Diaz Mier y Terán on Unsplash

I was text-fishing for ideas for this week’s blog post, and one friend texted back: “the pressure some parents put on kids to overachieve at EVERYTHING”. I put that on the list of possible topics. Then, I had a parking lot experience with another mom I’d never met, which I have found, can be some of the most honest, desperate, thirty second conversations.

I was leaving swimming lessons with my youngest. He’s a little overconfident in the water and I thought the lessons may keep us from drowning this summer. Anyway, I’m about to get in my car, but there’s a mom with her car door open next to mine. She’s telling a little person, “Please stop throwing this.” She hands something back and shuts the door, noticing me.

“Sorry, we finished class half an hour ago and I’m just now getting into my car!” I can’t help but laugh. I say, “I’m laughing because I remember.”

From there, she starts to ask me questions about swim lessons. My son is going every day for one week. She laments that they only have once-a-week classes for her son. I ask, “How old is he?” as I finally peek into her car.

“He’s almost one.”

Okay, so then I understood why she was freaking out. He’s her first. She doesn’t want to screw up. She doesn’t want to miss out or have him miss out.

She went on to tell me that grandma was going to pay for extra lessons if she wanted them. At this point I really just wanted to drive this frantic woman home and bake her a giant batch of brownies. She was so stressed about swimming lessons. For her one-year-old. And I get it. I remember.

I say, “Does he like the water?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’re all set.”

 And she was so relieved.  

She seemed like a super-competent, smart lady, but she needed to hear from me, a perfect stranger who could be an ax murderer and the worst mom ever, that she wasn’t messing up. And who knows how long she was relieved. She might have gone right back to worrying as she drove away.

My mind kept coming back to her and my friend’s text. What is it that is driving so many parents to have this intense FOMU – Fear of Messing Up. I know parents of all generations had fears and desires for their children’s future, but I feel like it’s at a new level thanks to social media, stacks of parenting books (I have them all), and the myriad of athletic and academic opportunities our kids have.

I think the FOMU feeds the focus parents have on their kids achieving in everything. For example: 

If Joey don’t make this team, he won’t be on the right path to make the next level club team and he’ll miss out on skills, and he’ll never be able to make the high school team, so there’s no way he’ll ever get a scholarship, and…and…and…he has to make this team! We have to get Joey a few private lessons! We won’t be good parents if we don’t do this for him.

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Five Ways to Work Your Creative Goals into Summer with the Kids

image via Pinterest 

Parents: the clock is running out on the school year and whatever schedule you’ve been able to cobble together to support your creative goals. Hopefully, you’ve got lots of camps lined up for the kiddos that will keep them busy without breaking the bank, but if not (like me), don’t worry! We’ll get through this together! And here’s how…

Photo by Nicole Honeywill on Unsplash

1 – Create while they sleep. Before they wake, after they go to bed, while they  nap – that’s your sacred creative time. You’d be surprised how much you can get accomplished with even an hour a day set aside, if you commit to that hour at least five days a week. Pro tip: my kid is an early riser. So we bought him one of those alarm clocks that change color when it’s ok for him to be up, and set it for 7 a.m. He’s almost always up before the clock turns green, but now knows not to put a pinkie outside his room until the “green light says go.” I, meanwhile, set my alarm for 6 a.m. daily and voila! There’s my hour a day.

2 – Establish a routine for your family that includes your creative time.  If you’ve got little littles, you’ll need help from a partner or older child on this one, but by the time your kiddo is four, s/he should be able to self-entertain for at least an hour. I get that this can be challenging to figure out, but once it’s part of the routine, you’ll marvel at what you can get done – and it’ll feel good to have your family acknowledge that this is something YOU need, especially after tending to their needs the rest of the day. Pro tip: I tack this hour on to my early morning creative time, to get almost two solid hours of work time every day. When my child first emerges, I make sure he’s got something to eat and something to do, and then go back to working until 8 a.m. Cheater tip: Use screen time. I know this is controversial but here’s how I have made my peace with it – it’s usually the only screen time he gets all day. On weekdays, he’s restricted to educational games and shows. Do I feel better about the world on days when he ignores his screen in favor of coloring or some other project? Yup, sure do – but I’m over feeling guilty about using technology to create space in our house. After all, technology is supposed to work for us, and believe you me, this technology is being employed in service of a greater good!

image via Pinterest
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